


happy

by maliciousmuke



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: FTM Luke, Friends to Lovers, Gender Dysphoria, Happy Ending, M/M, Medical stuff, Supportive Michael, Surgery, Trans Male Character, Transgender, Transitioning, luke is trans, michael loves him pre and post transition
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-03
Updated: 2016-04-03
Packaged: 2018-05-30 22:28:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,420
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6444541
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/maliciousmuke/pseuds/maliciousmuke
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>luke's gradual transition from female to male, and the happy ending he always wanted.</p>
            </blockquote>





	happy

**Author's Note:**

> hey so this was written in about an hour so feel free to tell me how awful it is
> 
> anyway here u go
> 
> (ps i'm not transgender and i've never experienced gender dysphoria or anything like that so if you feel like the way i've written this is inaccurate in any way, please please please let me know‐ i really don't want to offend anyone.
> 
> also i had to do a hella lot of research on the different types of top and bottom surgery and then figure out which kinds seemed most suitable for luke's body type and jesus i hope this turned out at least semi okay)

_luke._

she had never felt attached to her name, never liked the gender that most thought to come along with it. she didn’t want to be lucy, she wanted to be luke. luke, with dark brown hair and piercings and tattoos and a dick. she already felt more comfortable thinking of herself as luke, and she’d only thought of the new name a few minutes ago.

why couldn’t she be luke? not lucy, with boobs and a vagina and parents who had always assumed she liked the pink bows they pinned to her hair. lucy had never loved the things they called her- princess, baby girl, sweet heart. she knew boys could be called these things if they wanted, but she always found herself cringing at the feminine established names.

lucy longed to be different, longed to be a boy. she felt trapped, like she didn’t belong in this body with parts that made her cringe when she remembered that they were attached to her. her long hair was annoying and she hated the boobs on her chest and the way everyone shot her crazy looks when she went a day without the makeup she hated so much.

lucy didn’t want to be luke, she _was_ luke. on the inside, she could feel it. and she was done being someone she wasn’t just so she could please others. it made her tired and unhappy and she felt distanced from her own body, like it had never really been hers.

with a quick decision, _luke_ jumped to _his_ feet. what was the first step to being himself, one that he could do right here, on his own? a haircut. he ran to his parent’s bathroom, grabbing the special scissors his mother used to trim his long hair once a month. he looked at himself in the large, clean mirror, running his fingers through his long hair as one last goodbye.

“you can do this, luke,” he breathed, unable to stop the smile from spreading across his face as he heard to his new name in his own voice. and with one last breath, luke began to chop rather haphazardly at his hair. once it was only a bit below his ear all over his head, luke had to think of a style to aim for.

he decided to go short on the sides with a fringe falling over his forehead, which he could style up or to the side whenever he felt like. he grabbed his father’s hair buzzer, plugging it in a carefully bringing it to trim the sides of his hair until it was only a few centimeters long. luke took the scissors back, feathering the front of his hair and making it look messy.

luke put all of his supplies back where they had been, turning to look at the finished product in the mirror. he couldn’t help the giddy smile that spread across his face, his fingers coming up to tug at his newly short hair. and, god, this was so long overdue. how many times luke had looked in the mirror and been unhappy, there were too many to count.

and then luke remember that this was reality. luke had cut his hair and finally begun to identify himself as a boy, but he still hadn’t told anyone. and michael, oh god, _michael_. luke’s long time crush and one of his best friends. the boy who flirted with luke day after day. or flirted with _lucy_ , at least. would michael lose interest in him now? would he be done with luke?

and, fuck, luke’s parents. what would they think? luke had never heard them speak at all of transgender people, so he had no positive or negative feelings to go off of. but now was not the time to worry about how _others_ would feel, because luke felt like he was on top of the world.

-

luke came out to his parents a few months after he cut his hair. he waited until he was fully comfortable in himself before telling them, or anyone else. he hadn’t even told michael yet- he figured his parents should come first. so he’d told them they needed to talk the morning before, when they were both heading off for work. he was an only child, so he didn’t have to worry about coming out to a huge family. he was thankful that it was usually just him and his parents.

so they sat down on the couch after they’d changed from their work clothes and showered, watching luke sit in the recliner across from them with cautious eyes. “lucy, are you sure you’re alright?” luke’s mother, liz, asked, and he cringed internally at the name. his father, andrew, tilted his head to the side slightly, silently asking the same question his mother had.

“i promise i’m fine, guys,” he assured them, running a hand through his fluffy hair. “but, um, i need you to promise me something in return. promise me that no matter what i tell you, you won’t hate me. please, can you do that for me?”

liz and andrew were quick to nod, waiting for their child to tell them what was going on. “of course, lucy, we could never hate you,” andrew told him softly. “now, can you please elaborate on what’s got you so nervous?” luke smiled at them, some of his shakiness having faded away now.

“um, so, i… i’m not a girl,” luke explained slowly. “i mean, physically, i’m a female, but i just don’t feel like i should be. i feel stuck, like a mistake was made when i was being coded into the universe. like, whoever is watching over us right now got everything right, except they checked the female box instead of the male, y’know?”

luke paused for a moment, watching the news wash over his parents. they took a few moments to process this new information about their child, but definitely didn’t seem mad or unhappy about it at all. after a silence that lasted hours in luke’s mind, his mother spoke up again. “that’s all?” she asked quietly, like she was holding her breath as she waited for luke to say something worse.

when luke nodded, she smiled softly at him. “lucy, you should never feel unhappy in your own body. if you feel like you are a boy, then you are one.” luke could feel tears gathering in the corners of his eyes, only out of pure happiness.

“kid, you are who you are,” andrew stated clearly, “and we have no room to tell you who to be, even if we wanted to. which we don’t, might i add. your mother and i will love you for whoever you want to be.”

-

luke was starting his testosterone. he’d been discussing it with his doctor for a while now, and they’d finally worked out the plan that was best for him. he would get shots, and they would start out with once a month. he would get them done at the doctor the first couple times, just so that they were sure he knew what he was doing with the shots.

if the testosterone shot once a month wasn’t effective enough, they could do two instead, but the doctor said that with luke’s body type, they could go no higher. they usually used menstruation to measure how the testosterone was working, and, if his periods hadn’t stopped by around three or four months, they would up his dosage.

but luke was happy.

his voice began to crack and grow slightly deeper around seven or eight weeks, and his menstruation stopped at about the same time. luke’s period had always been an especially difficult time for him, as it always made him feel extremely unattached to his body. when he finally didn’t get it at his usual day of the month, he felt like he could throw a fucking party.

luke began to grow more hair about two weeks later, with a tiny bit of blonde stubble forming on his face. he also began to notice that his armpit and pubic hair was a bit thicker, but there was no significant change in the speed at which it was growing. there was none on his chest yet, but many men never grew hair there anyway, so he wasn’t exactly worried about it.

luke had come out to michael, since it was clear that he could no longer hide it. his biggest fear was that the boy would no longer see him in the same light. michael had been attracted to lucy, but how would he feel about luke?

-

it was time for luke’s top surgery. he’d been on testosterone for around twelve weeks when his doctor said that the surgery was available to him at any time, and he nearly had a heart attack. he was nervous and excited and happy that he was privileged enough to be going through this transition so smoothly. luke’s primary doctor wasn’t able to do the top surgery, but a kind lady from a few rooms down was fully licensed in that type of thing, so she would be his surgeon. 

luke’s breasts weren’t big by any means, only about a b cup, and they were no problem until he came to the realization that they didn’t belong on him. the realization that he was a boy. then all he wanted was for them to be gone. his binder did a pretty good job at hiding them, but sometimes it made his muscles ache and it was quite the workout to put on. now he would never have to do it again.

he had a double incision surgery done, which the doctor had said was the easiest for his body and skin type. it wasn’t bad at all, and he only had to wear a drain on each side of his chest for a week. when they were taken out, there was a scar curving under where each of his breasts had been, and his nipples had been re shaped to fit his new chest.

the two scars would fade considerably over time, and luke was allowed to use scar cream if he was still unhappy with the way it looked. luke didn’t even care, he was just so happy to be transitioning so quickly in a secure environment. his parents supported him through everything, taking him to all the appointments, filled with just as much excitement as him. luke's testosterone was still going smoothly, and his once a month dosage was working out perfectly for him.

michael seemed distant. he still supported luke and talked to him on the phone sometimes, but he was behaving much differently than he had been before. luke tried as best he could to engage in conversation, but it was nearly impossible to force michael to be his friend. and it was definitely impossible to force him to be anything more than that.

-

it was bottom surgery time. first, luke would get a hysterectomy, to remove all the female parts inside of of him. afterwards, he could have the surgery that gave him male parts. luke had chosen to have a radial forearm phalloplasty, which took some tissue from his forearm and used it to make his dick. there would be a scar left on his arm, but the doctor told luke that they could give him some prescription cream for it and, if he really wanted, he could eventually cover it with a tattoo.

luke’s new dick would be just as sensitive as his clit was, and it would be about six inches long, and then a little longer when hard (luke sort of controlled when he was hard, which almost seemed like a perk in his eyes). when hard he could touch himself after few months, but no penetrative sex until he had the penile implants inserted around nine months post operation. with the implant, luke’s dick could be easily manipulated however he liked, but it would never go extremely soft like that of a biological male.

he had to stay in the hospital for five days, and his new dick was slightly swollen and the stitches had yet to be removed. by the time he left, the stitches were gone and his penis had the next nine months to heal all on it’s own. when luke arrived home after his fifth day in the hospital, michael was waiting for him with a bouquet of red and pink roses. luke’s parents headed straight inside, clearly giving the two boys some private time.

“hi, luke,” michael mumbled nervously, handing over the flowers. “so, um, we need to talk about stuff. before you transitioned, you always talked about being attracted to boys and girls, so i kind of assumed that maybe you might still want to do that whole flirty thing we did. it took me a little while, but i kind of realized that i didn’t want to do that anymore. i’m done playing around with you, luke. i really like you, you know? i guess i can only hope you feel the same way.”

luke grinned, wrapping his arms around michael’s neck. “of course i like you, you nerd,” he laughed, burying his nose into the boy’s neck. “i was so scared you only like lucy, not luke, and i didn’t know what to do. but clearly you figured it out, and i’m fucking glad you did.”

“i like you, and i don’t care if you’re lucy or luke, i just want _you_.”

-

ten months later and luke and michael lived together. they’d been dating since luke’s return home from his bottom surgery, and it had been just a month since he got his penile implant. they weren’t in a rush to have sex, but they were in love and michael was fascinated with luke’s very pretty, completely healed dick, which totally hadn’t already been in his mouth about six or seven times.

so yeah, they made love. luke was gentle and sweet and he left soft kisses wherever he could on michael’s skin, and they were happy. michael loved luke, and luke loved michael. luke was finally comfortable in his own body, and he could finally do everything that a natural born male could do. he was now physically the person he always had been mentally, and he had michael by his side. luke had everything that he’d wanted in his whole life. luke was happy with michael. michael was happy with luke.

**Author's Note:**

> you can leave feedback via the comments or my [tumblr!](http://www.maliciousmikey.tumblr.com/)
> 
> thanks for reading! please leave requests in the comments!


End file.
